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clay dube.
Rob_Hugo@PortNWWhile studying for my SDAI, some years ago, I stumbled across a column in the L.A. Times titled "Multicultural Manners". It was written by Norine Dresser who identified diverse customs from around the world and introduced readers to cultural do’s and don’ts. Years of studying diverse cultural customs led to her book, “Multicultural Manners: New Rules of Etiquette for a Changing Society.” I found one of her columns I had clipped out years ago during our recent winter break while cleaning out files. There was an e-mail address listed, so I tried it. She wrote back and informed me of her web site and new book. All of her columns (which ran from 1993-2001) are included in the book. Here are a few examples of how she expands on ways of navigating diverse cultural situations with greater awareness.
Q. When is it taboo for a teacher to write a student's name in red?
A. When a student is a Korean Buddhist. Writing a person's name in red connotes death.
Q. If a Chinese wedding guest gives the couple money in a red envelope, is it acceptable to give money in a white envelope if I can't find a red one?
A. No way! White envelopes enclosing money are only used at funerals.
I have sent off for the book and will be happy to share it at our next class.
Denise Clement
Soleado Elementary
PVPUSD
AnonymousHow interesting. Every Monday, I teach my students manners and we discuss everything from please and thank you to setting the dinner table. I am fascinated with learning the different customs and social dos and don'ts. Children these days are not held accountable for their manners and no one teaches them how to act. We often just expect that they act a certain way. I would be very interested in checking out that book. I was never aware of examples and would not like to be the one to strike the wrong cord in other cultures, especially symbolizing death for one of my students.
AnonymousI'm rereading Memoirs of a Geisha right now (I read it the first time in college). It's so interesting how there seems to be a right way and a wrong way to do everything - at least in the Geisha culture. It's hard not to think of our own culture and compare... Imagine how behaviors such as road rage and putting your feet up on the table would have been viewed.
AnonymousIt might be really fun to do a lesson on different manners/customs in different Asian countries. Here are some links to get the ball rolling:
Manners in China:
http://chineseculture.about.com/library/weekly/aa031901a.htm
General Etiquette in Japan:
http://gojapan.about.com/cs/traditioncustom/index.htm?terms=japanese+etiquette
Vietnamese Table Manners:
http://goasia.about.com/cs/vietnam/a/vmanners.htm?terms=vietnam+etiquette
AnonymousI remember distincly as my younger sister was growing up that one of her Japanese friends whose parents had moved from Japan would always give gifts. Every time the mother would pick up her daughter from our house she would have a gift for my family whether it be food, wine or something else. Then, I tutored for a Japanese family this past summer. I NEVER left hungry or empty handed... and I don't just mean the tutoring money! Is this a cultural thing? The giving of gifts... particularly food?
AnonymousGreat Movie and maybe a possible source for learning a bit of some part of Chinese culture - Kung Fu Hustle!!! 😛
AnonymousYikes! Thanks for this info. I usually don't use a red pen, but I will have to remember this association with Korean Buddhists.
It is very helpful to know the social customs and manners of other countries and I believe that it would be especially helpful here in PV to know more about social and business ettiquette in Asia.
AnonymousIt is definitely a cultural thing. My father (3rd generation Japanese-American) used to tell us of a phrase that roughly translates to "don't enter a home with your arms swinging." Basically, if you ever visit someone, you should have something to offer. While I lived in Japan, I found this to be very true. Even my good friends would bring gifts, usually food, when they came to visit. I found this difficult to always reciprocate and would at times not visit someone if I didn't have a gift. I'm sure that defeats the purpose of the custom, but it's true.
Gift giving is an integral part of the culture at all levels. One must be very careful to always give the appropriate level of gift, also. Otherwise, one may enter what my friends and I used to call "the omiage war." Omiage is the name for these token gifts/souvenirs, etc. In an original gift exchange, if one person brings a gift that seems to be of greater value, the other person will feel obligated to give an additional gift. Often gift value spirals up and seemingly out of control to a Westerner who didn't realize what they were getting into. There is a timing to the gifts, a proper way to present and receive gifts, a correct value for a gift, etc. All of these rules are, as far as I know, unwritten and yet very real. Befuddling to many foreigners, but completely understood by all Japanese.
AnonymousThat is such a neat aspect of Japanese culture. It makes a person feel appreciated and thought of. In a way, I wish that American pop-culture were more giving. Then I guess we do have our own special way of doing things, like always bringing a bottle of wine for the host of a dinner party.
AnonymousVery interesting...When I was taking Japanese class, it was very hard for all of us not to cross our legs during the class. And we weren't allow to drink during the class(which is even harder for us).
clay dubeI've attached a short article on the latest public morality campaign in Shanghai. This Financial Times article reports on the effort to curb (pun intended) to curb jaywalking.