young asian mothers

[Rob_Hugo@PortNW]

A couple of my friends and I were walking today and saw these little kids running around. Somehow, we began to talk about having our own kids someday. Eventually, we talked about when we expect to have kids, and most of us of course said after we're done with school and settle down with a stable career. We usually talk about how asian women are expected to get married at certain age. I wonder when they are expected to have kids: right after marriage, or a few years after? If they do have children, how many? I think the view on that has changed significantly over the past decades. For instance, I dont think asian women are expected to marry so early (at the age of 15 for instance). A lot of the changes are probably due to the increase in gender equality, women's access to education and thus employment opportunities, and the modernization of society that encourages more career-oriented ideals.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely agree with you that the marrying age for Asian woman has increased due to certain equality gains on the part of women. I actually think that the expected age for marriage of Asian women is older than for Caucasian women (especially those in let's say the Mid-West). Personally I can't imagine getting married until at least 27 or so (or whenever I'm out of school and have a stable job). I know my cousin who lives in Arkansas, however, who's half Viet and half white, just got married this past month at the age of 22. For me that's WAY too young and for some reason I've always pictured myself getting married in my late 20s... (and I believe the same goes for most of my Asian girlfriends).

As for children, I don't feel that there are any expectations from me to have a certain amount or at a certain time after my marriage (Though I personally would like maybe 2 kids ~3 or so years into marrriage). I think, for girls especially, the expectations and sense of wanting to have kids will come not from society but from our biological clocks

[Anonymous]

Thinking about motherhood for us girls at this age is certainly overwhelming for both us and our parents. I mean, now days when you talk to young girls, we usually expect them to think about having children when they are married and able to care for their young. As for me personally, having a child is a major responsiblity you carry with you for the rest of your life. My grandmother had her first child when she was 15, and my mother had her first child when she was 23, so its clear that time has changed the mentality of early motherhood for women.

[Anonymous]

women nowadays are more independent and career-oriented, thus, their number one priority is no longer to raise a family but to be financially stable. i myself don't plan to have kids until i have a stable career or until i finish with grad school. as for kids, i love kids and want to have a couple, but i think it's a norm now to have less kids. don't you think?

[Anonymous]

I haven't really heard much on the topic of asian women having different expectations for age at first marriage, but it does seem that for the motivated, driven asian women at UCLA the number will probably be higher than most. Since we are mostly all very career and education oriented, we will probably want to delay marriage and childrearing for when we are done with school. Personally, I don't mind getting married before i'm 25, but i can't imagine having kids until probably 30. They are just such a huge responsibility that it would be a real challenge. I think it's beneficial to the kid also, to grow up in a financially stable household where the mom and dad can take proper care of the child.

[clay dube]

Hi Folks,

Here are some sources for information about how old people are in the US when they get married:

US
National Center for Health Statistics

US Census Bureau -- 2000 census/marriage

Stats from a West Virginia government agency

Can you locate similar statistics for the countries of East Asia?

1985 China data (after the first good census conducted in China in 1982)

[Anonymous]

This would have been an interesting topic for a research paper. I think one of us is doing a paper on gender issues, and I know that Tianqi is focusing on Shanghai women and their increasingly powerful roles in society.
I checked out the statistics in China thanks to Prof. Dube's last link. Mainly because I was curious & wanted to know how the love life was doing across the Pacific. The article argues the "economic development and education have a strong impact on female age at marriage." Then again, this is probably best for China's desire to control the population, since the article suggests that "promoting late marriage is essential (to controlling population growth)." I'm anxious to see how long China will promote late marriage, seeing how it is still somewhat of *bad news* for a women near her 30th year to be unmarried and/or single. I remember my family members started looking for my "prospects" when I was 15 years old. Keep in mind these relatives were 2 generations above me, had semi-arranged marriages, and believe in "furthuring" my socioeconomic status with a man who was relatively well-off, intelligent, from a good family, and treated me well. It used to scare me how they would start suggesting I pay visits with them more often, and even throwing out names.
When I first started dating, my grandmother scoffed at my date's house and family, saying it was "not good enough for our little Amy." My mother was already a revoluntionary woman during her youth (she was a "modern girl"), and had a "talk" with both my father and my grandmother. It can be said that my other lacked "filial piety" when she dared to talk back and share her opinions to my FATHER'S mother.
Going back on the marriage age. I plan on marrying after I graduate from college, most likely 2 years after when I have set aside money for the downpayment of a house and have a steady job. I believe I will be around........ 23 or 24 when I marry (this is relatively young, to most Chinese-Americans and U.S.-raised girls). I used to push marriage & kids out onto the edge of the picture, while focusing on a life as a high-powered executive. However, who knew a significant other can encourage both worlds to collide?
I look forward to marriage, kids, a family, and working in the business world. Seems as though my plate gets bigger everytime I set out to do something.

[Anonymous]

It's great to hear that you feel confident in being able to balance everything: having kids, a family, and a great career. I think the sentiments of a working mother have also changed significantly. Women in general are often faced with balancing the domestic and work spheres. Sometimes, they would have to choose one over the other. Asian women, in particular, are becoming increasingly more independent (especially in the US, of course there are areas in the world where women are still treated unfairly). Thus, I predict we will see a significantly greater amount of Asian women who can hold high paying jobs and at the same time oversee their households in the years and decades to come. My oldest sister, for example, has a kid, works full time, and goes to school to get her bachelor's degree. Despite all the stress and conflicting schedule of her day, she finds it fulfilling to do all the things she wants to do, and not give up one to do the other.

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